Minister for Water Meters Alan Kelly is delighted to announce that new Labour Party recruit

0
1125

By Con ODomhnaill

Minister for Water Meters Alan Kelly is delighted to announce that new Labour Party recruit, the feared alleged Dissident Republican Máiria Cahill will be patrolling water meter installations when she is not throwing dirt at the Shinners in the Seanad.

Belfast volunteer Cahill could join Denis O’Brien’s feared GMC balaclava & sunglasses brigade. Irish Water’s spokesperson Elizabeth Arnett was asked if Cahill’s fearsome reputation would frighten more people into paying for water a third time, but for once Arnett was too scared to open her mouth.

A terrified John Tierney agreed to resign as CEO of the popular water company when he heard Cahill was on her way to see him. Joan Burton, looked confused when asked about Cahill and said ” I think she came through the Worker’s Party/Democratic Left unit, she definitely wasn’t in my local cumann”.

Well at least that’s what I was told by someone I don’t know, it could be true as i’m told that’s what passes as news these days.