Government remove threat to Jail themselves

Removal from Jail

By Paul Finn
The Government is to remove the threat of jail for themselves, bankers and their cronies who do not abide by the same general rules as the public must.

It is now said to be in favour of applying ‘extra attachment’ orders to their own wages and multiple pensions payments as a first resort, which will increase their take home pay. The general public will however have to fund this additional expenditure through a new tax called ‘Your Last Penny Tax’.

The proposals on debt, which have been formulated by the Departments of ‘Injustice and the Environment’, was to be discussed by the Cabinet this morning.
However, the meeting was adjourned to allow ministers attend a knees up for one of the lads who was retiring to the Bahamas.

The meeting is to resume at 7.30pm this evening, and it is understood no substantial discussion will ever take place as a bar extension has been granted in Leinster House.
Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform Brendan ‘Howler’ this morning said that a “general provision” would apply to all small debts, including water bills and that all you need to qualify for this, was to be an Irish citizen or an Irish resident who breathes air.
He said the idea behind the proposal was that “people wouldn’t go to jail for not paying a TV licence, instead would be evicted and their house would be sold off, and monies from the sales would be lodged into the ‘Poor Politician’s Benevolent Fund’ or ‘Denis O’Brien’s Rainy Day Fund’.