By John Fairclough
A new Semi-State body is to be created called Irish Walker.
The purpose of this new body will be to charge the customer for walking on the public highway. Until now Ireland has not charged for walking but in a new directive from Brussels this is all about to change. Each customer is to have a pedometer inserted in the exact spot where Enda Kenny has a water meter and charged anally (deliberate mistake) for their usage.
It is thought that there will be a free allowance of 1000 steps per day when the company is up and running (bad pun). Opposition to the scheme is widespread with one TD saying “this is just the first step down the road of privatisation”.
Meanwhile, throughout the country, local communities are setting up in opposition to the new body. The biggest so far being Walkinstown, One activist said “We will not be pushed!” Another commented “Laziness walks in my family!”
The government, however, do not expect any opposition marches but Irish Walker are really hoping for them. Sinn Fein now believe they are a shoe in for the next election.